Cannibalus and The Dark Lord

"But I'm STARVELING! You promised me that if I stepped through this trans-dimensional rift that there would be LUNCHEON! You promised..."

Cannibals the Starveling sneered, and added...

"...Sir!"

The Dark Lord smirked, knowing THAT one was bound to get Ash's goat, and right there in the goat catcher. Ash HATED to be called Sir!

Ash drew in a deep breath, laden with oxygen and brimstone. He paused in his hammering. This 'Praetor to the Dark Lord' bullshit is more like babysitting! Ash thought to himself. He'd never imagined that he would have to actually, and for real! sigh the unsighable sigh... but he had to do it, right then, and so he did it. He Sighed the Unsighable Sigh, and the Sighing of it shattered a couple of universes somewhere, unfortunately. However, Ash was not one to be nonplussed by a few quadrillion slayed souls, or even the little baby bitchlings of a supposedly all powerful dark lord from some place or of another dimension.

"Look, I know that you're an 'All Powerful Dark Lord' (finger quotes) from the eleventeenth dimension and everything, or something..." Ash vociferated, "...but could you please just manage to shut down your forward tubes for just one or maybe a hundred minutes? I mean, is that a 'Dark Lord' (finger quotes) thing, that you have to yammer incessantly about little baby bullshits? Don't dark lords ever just shut the fuck up, too? Geez!"

Silencio! And after an interminable moment, the sound of hammering resumes.

That put the hammer to that whiney little shit, Ash mused to himself. Whiney little dark lord bitch prince will never understand the semantics, never mind the the pendantics of... of, you know! Putting up with spoiled little extra-dimensional shits!

With that, Ash resumed the more serious task of bunglebaiting, while Cannibalus the Starvling fumed in silence like a little girl. Like a spoiled little princess... like a Dark Princess, pissed off and planning... pissed off and planning. Like a little girly boy.