Outline for the Introduction

This story begins with an introduction.

It's told from the perspective of an anonymous narrator - someone or something that has found out about these events after the fact, and is relating them as a story told for the benefit and entertainment of any humans who might be reading it... assuming that there are still any humans around to read it.

The telling of these events begins at a specific, significant time in human history. It's the point when the entire human race collectively goes insane. All intelligent life eventually reaches this threshold, as it's a natural stage in the development of any intelligent civilization. It's a trial that's necessary for survival beyond a single planet existence, and it's totally natural. After successful completion, other trials await... but we won't get into those.

Some intelligent races are able to fight through the insanity and survive, and others don't do as well. They either extinct themselves or bomb themselves back to the starting line.

The telling of this story begins with the human race standing with one foot poised above this threshold. It begins a couple of years into the Trump administration, and right before North Korea launches a preemptive attack on Antarctica. In other words, right as the human race is steering planet Earth straight to hell in a hand basket, and laughing all the way.

It's important to note that the narrator, being whomever or whatever it is, has chosen to tell this story with a sense of humor. Anyone or anything with the will to tell this tale could have made it into a drama, or a sappy romance, or a serious tragedy, or an unbiased report, or a bitter tale of regret... but the telling of this one has been decided by anonymous to revel in absurdity for the sake of absurdity, because it's funny. Because that's important. Because if a story can be told, then it already contains the essence of every possible mood, and it's up to the story teller to decide which mood fits. It's ALL............... subjective.

There. That's the open framework of this story. Now I just have to tell it. Oops, I mean...

Now it just has to be told.