Characters list

The NonPlussed

Book One

of

The Canticles of The Waricle

and

The Far Flung Hunger

Page 1

Persona Non Grata -

DickJackson Jones - first-and-a-half American half-Black astronaut space shuttle commander
Ramona Tostada - first (later remanded to zeroth) Mexican astronaut mission specialist
Roger Dodger - kiss ass white boy in space and first white boy on Mars
Pinot Nois - Chinese peasant and homebrew inventor of the Long March Firecracker, China's primary HLV
Charles Blanc - first French Vietnamese civilian astronaut
Pyotor the Ivan - First Tsar of the Confederate Parts of the American Union of Southern Georgia
Walks Carefully On Eggshells Like A Bear - Russian double agent adopted by Navajos at birth
Mrs. Bojangles - Canadian high school algebra teacher
Sir Ferlin Goolsby - President of the United States of America and Baja, California
Stardog - lead singer for Stardog Champion, a Seattle based band from American annexed Baja, California
Dreyfuss Marlowe - 7-Eleven cashier and heroin addict with a heart of gold from Austin, Texas
Ignatius Quedge - demon from hell and Dreyfuss Marlowe's alter ego and tormentor
Bad Friday - shipwrecked Rapa Nui serial killer
Purl Ashblaque  - gunslinging grunge wizard, summoned by Dreyfuss Marlowe to battle Ignatius Quedge
Little Big Junior - American AM radio talk show personality, founder of the Little Big Brother Tea Party party
Generalissimus Nathanial Warbottom - reluctant Marshal General of the CPAUSG armed forces
Twit and Twat - two highly intelligent African Grey Parrots constantly bumbling into Deus ex Machinas
Olivier Bustier - Engagé Volontaire in the French Foreign Legion and sole survivor of the Gay Bomb
Thaddeus Thomas - Amish inventor of the Pulverizorator, the Ultimate Farming Implement
Sabathius Malachi - Amish usurper of the Pulverizorator, repurposed as the Ultimate Death Dealer
Mung Bean - retarded Mongolian physicist and winner of Nobel Food Prize for splitting the ham burger
Dem Witt - country bumpkin and Coordinated Information Apparatus liason to the Apparatchik Chicks
Ricardo 'Dick' Queso de Cabeza - Columbian freedom fighter and stupid asshole
Phuc Sum Yun Gy - South Korean grammar Nazi and Best Paladin WOW gamer, savior of the human race
Ashley Davis - Praetor to Emperor Cannibalus the Starvling
Emperor Cannibalus the Starvling - Dark Lord and Emperor of the Infinite Realm of the Far Flung Hunger
Xdfhitef - 'The Stupidest Genius', an alien demigod exiled from the 13th dimension, aka the devil, Lucifer, Satan
God - God, aka Yaweh, Jehovah, Jesus, The Father The Son and The Holy Spirit, The Holy Trinity
Ball - just the cutest kitten, ever

Page 2