Another of Jim's hangovers

Dempsey Witt was passed out pretty hard for a Sunday morning, which used to be unusual. If he could've seen himself curled up on the kitchen floor and cradling his service revolver like a teddy bear, he would have been moderately disappointed with himself, what with it being a Sunday morning and all. He used to make it a point to pass out somewhere closer to his bedroom on Sunday mornings, with his service revolver tucked snugly into the waistband of his underoos instead of hugged up under his chin. Nowadays though, simply waking up was a disappointment, and he was always bitterly surprised when it happened.

On this particular Sunday morning however, a ray of sweet sunshine containing the first photons of the gathering dawn gentled softly upon Dim's left eyelid like angeldown. To that left eyeball, the substance of that single spark of hope almost discerned felt like a NAZI JACKBOOT STOMPING ONTO THE LEFT SIDE OF HIS NOGGIN. Dempsey SCRRAHGOUGHLED awake, choking on the snotty boogers of his own wet, ugly snores. With a mighty HAAGGHCK! a slimy fhlurghful PSCHFLOOP'd across his tongue and sphlurpguPHh!'d somewhere over there, across the kitchen.

"OHGODNONOTAWAKEAGAIN" was the sound that fell out of his face, right before he passed out and immediately bounced awake again. Minutes of tauma transpired. Traumatic trauma, severe trauma... trauma like a 900 pound retarded kid made out of sharp edges, that bulldozed through his awareness. Eventually his lips made a moist 'pop' as they came unstuck. The inside of his mouth was dry and sticky. He tried to build up a little saliva by smacking his tongue and lips together. It made a nasty noise, like a dog licking its own asshole. Tastes like a dog's asshole too, he thought.

Dim continued to lie there in the darkness for an interminable moment, blind and with the taste of a dogs asshole in his mouth, and pleasantly surprised, for once. He'd really expected hell to be so much worse than just the world's godawfulest hangover.

Here's a fun fact. Methanol blindness is quite common. Actually, the chances are good that you probably know someone who has been blinded by drinking methanol that was filtered through some old bread that was thrown out by the bread factory.